Is Your Spouse in the Way?

Let’s cut to the chase. We all deserve to do what we love and take action on the opportunities that will help us do just that. No one should have to settle for less and stay stuck in a soul-sucking situation. There I said it. The truth is that we’ve been brought-up to believe that we have to work hard doing something we don’t love in order to make a living to continue doing what we don’t love. If your beliefs were different – that you can do what you love, make a lot of money doing it, and that it can be easy to do it – imagine the life you could have! It’s really about getting out of your own way – meaning a shift in perspective – in order to live a life you really love.

I get that in a marriage there is compromise and major decisions are made together. But it’s unfair to tell each other what we can and can’t do. Who am I to tell my husband he can’t do something and vice versa? It’s also important to note that your spouse is likely coming from a place of fear if they have said no to something. I always remember this before I talk to someone about an issue I’m having. People bring their own fears and baggage to the situation and their advice is based on that. If you’ve recognized your spouse is coming from a place of fear, then just spewing a new idea all over them may not be the best tactic. It involves some planning.

Sorry guys – this paragraph is for the ladies. A coach I really honour and respect once told me that men don’t care about much else other then sex, money and food – and sports can be in there too! If that’s the case, then you need to present your case in a way that will resonate with them – this is the same for anyone and anything really. It’s all about the presentation.

If your spouse isn’t open to a conversation then maybe there is a deeper issue going on. This is the time to identify whether or not you are in a toxic relationship. As David Neagle puts it, “Your life will never grow beyond the toxicity of the relationships you allow in it.” It might be time to take a hard look at this.

I’m definitely not suggesting that you end your relationship. In fact I’m talking about the opposite – addressing what is going on so that you have a clear picture and can then decide on appropriate action.

When I first started studying the universal laws, my husband and I argued (more like debated) all of the time. We hit a rough patch and it happens in every marriage. Here are some things that really helped me:

1. When I visualized what I wanted to achieve, I also visualized my husband being happy and at peace. I didn’t want to achieve it unless it also brought happiness for him.

2. I realized that he is a person too. Hear me out for a second. Instead of just looking at him and seeing what was bothering me, I looked beyond that. I really do believe we’re all spiritual beings and are here for a purpose. I started to look at him that way and it helped me shift my perspective. I had more patience and understanding.

3. Have a plan. I talked about this a little earlier. If you want to start a business, think about where you need to be financially in order to make the switch. Present it to your spouse that way. If it’s a coaching program you want to invest in, tell your spouse your plan for making the money to pay for it yourself. You can create the money. See the article I wrote last week on the law of polarity for more information on this.

4. Stop making excuses. Don’t let your partner be your reason for not taking action and doing what you need to do in order to improve your life. It might take you moving out of your comfort zone in order to really do what it is required. You will have to step-up your game and you don’t have to rely on your spouse to make it happen.

There is something else that I learned from my mentor that will make a huge difference in the way you approach and manifest what it is you want. Think about who you need to be in order to achieve what it is you are wanting. What type of person do you need to become and what beliefs do you need to have in order to reach your goals? Spend a few minutes a day visualizing yourself already having what you desire and being the person you need to be. It’s important to really feel what it’s like to be that person and have what you want. This will make a huge difference in the results you get!

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